In Western Society there seems to be a misunderstanding about the role of suffering, particularly within the context of grief. There is often an urgency to pull people out of their grief too abruptly. To heal, one must attend patiently to grief wounds and move towards, rather than away from, this pain. Having a support network is crucial to help navigate through the grieving process. Grief counsellor Alan Wolfelt’s “companioning” philosophy of grief describes a way of “walking” alongside the bereaved, to bear witness to their pain. As stated in the first tenet of the companioning model, “Companioning is about being present to another person’s pain; It’s not about taking away the pain” (Wolfelt, 2005). That is, one must resist the urge to ‘fix’, but to instead ‘sit’ with the pain that the other is experiencing.

To deepen the inner understanding of one’s suffering, rather than deny or rationalize pain, requires one to be present and initiate a willingness to openly connect with dark and unpleasant emotions. A lived experience of solitude can truly be a source of nourishment for the psyche and the soul; a fundamental part of the grieving process, an experiential journey of suffering well.

Tips to cope with the loneliness of grief:

1. Find healthy outlets to help give expression to grief-related emotions.

2. Prioritize self-care (mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually).

3. Practice self-compassion.

4. Accept that loneliness is a normal experience of the grieving process.

5. In time, seek social support.

6. Establish a healthy balance between alone time and time spent with others.

7. Cultivate new relationships/bonds and experiences.

References
Tillich, Paul. 1963. The Eternal Now. New York: Scribner.
Wolfelt, Alan. 2005. Companioning the Bereaved: A Soulful Guide for Caregivers: Companion Press.